why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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