STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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