A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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