Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
