can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
