Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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