Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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