You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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