my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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