Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
