they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
