so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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