To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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