I think scott just propositioned me for sex
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize