a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
