as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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