Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
