Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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