Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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