Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
