just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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