hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
