Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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