Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
