Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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