I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
