I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
