Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
