Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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