Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
