i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
