My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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