if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
