It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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