you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
