sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
