apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you never un-have a 4some
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
