I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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