Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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