do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize