Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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