You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
