You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
