I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
