she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
