Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
