well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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