I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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