Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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