She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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