well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize