on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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