You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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