You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
