i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
