Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
