Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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