My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
