She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hippo gnu deer
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
