You really coming over, don't trick.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
