At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
