Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
