Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
