I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
